Monsters in My Head
Anxiety is like the monsters that hide under our bed when we were young. As an adult, they become the monsters that live in our head. Anxiety is something that we create to prove that we are right that "bad things will always happen to us", that the worst case will happen, or we even try to worry it away from existence. This can come from fear, fear of failure or fear of loss. I would fear that I would not get a job that would turn into a career, so I stopped taking the steps that would get me there out of fear of failure, so if I never tried I never failed. But with fear I already failed, or I am already failing. When anxiety and fear are in play, the thing that will ruin you joins in the game, self sabotage. Self sabotage will have you lying to yourself and to others in order to create the chaos that it is. It will bury your true self and cloak it into a sloth that has you going through life living like an NPC. Then your ass gets tased and jolts your mind back into the real world (if you're lucky). That electric shock sheds off the cloak, but leaves your body in deep burns. Now what? You get back on track, you show up in life, and you start the healing process because you never want to be burnt like that again. The healing process is painful, even more painful than the feeling of anxiety or depression. It makes all those moments you had with anxiety feel comfortable, but you have to keep telling your self without these burns you can not heal you can not revile a new glowing you without shedding the pain.